Still Crying......
Monday was my son Owen's third birthday. I have been a bit weepy ever since. I cannot believe that he is three already. I seem to barely remember him being a tiny baby! He cannot be three! Where did the time go?
We had a big party for Owen - at which he was the only boy! The other two boys who were invited were unable to come for various reasons. That did not seem to bother Owen at all. He carried on as usual and had a great time! The child received a bumper crop of gifts, including a wooden dragon that my sister spent hours putting together and lovingly painted orange and green which are Owen's favorite colors. Everything else either had wheels or flies. Bill spent the entire rest of the afternoon playing with Owen's toys including the helicopter the neighbor girls brought over. It is so funny to look around for your husband and find him out in the yard in the middle of all of the kids playing with toys! LOL
Owen was the child I never planned to have. He was a total surprise - and one that I am grateful for. Having two babies only 16 months apart was extremely stressful and difficult. I was out of bed and doing business as usual (almost!) two days after have a c-section with Owen because I had no choice. I had a 16 month old baby to take care of as well as my newborn.
I took a lot of crap about not breastfeeding Owen. The truth is, I physically could not do it. I had a hard enough time functioning as it was, let alone throw that in there. I did not breast feed Maya either. The pediatrician, of all people, told me not to worry about it (as he passed the Kleenex). It is difficult on moms who have had rough pregnancies and then a c-section. Throw in a 16 month old and breastfeeding should have been the least of my worries! I really appreicated that from our doctor. He was the last person I ever expected to hear say that.
I guess I am just feeling very sentimental today and for some reason breasts have been a big deal around here lately - cannot say why - and the bad feelings about breastfeeding showed up. Funny how things do that! Owen, in spite of my failure to breastfeed him, is a very healthy and growing three year old boy. I cannot believe it! He will be the last of his kind because I cannot and should not have any more babies, but I am so grateful he is here and that I get to be his Mom!
God gives us things for a reason. Owen has important things to do in this world and I cannot wait to see him grow up to be a man who loves God. Just not yet.......
7 comments:
**sigh** This is the third blog in a matter of minutes that I've read something like this. One mom with her oldest starting 10th grade (just like me - *sniff*), one with her oldest starting kindergarten, and now this. I can cry just thinking about each one.
I'm sorry you received such grief over not breastfeeding. I tried to with both my kids, but my milk never came in very good and I had to supplement. I don't think my kids were any healthier than any of my friends' kids who hadn't been breastfed at all. In some cases they weren't as healthy. So whatever, I say.
I'm loving watching my son growing up to be a man who loves God. But I'm dreading watching him grow to be a man, period. Of course, he's only 15 so I can't really call him a man yet. But sometimes it seems like any day he'll be off to college.
What a melancholy day for so many moms...
I'm back. I just gave another blogger friend your blog addy and now I'm going to give you her's. She is in a similar situation - her oldest is starting kindergarten. But more than that she just reminds me of you. I think you both will enjoy and relate well to each other's blogs.
Her name is Shauna and her blog is The Coffee Stop. Here's her addy:
http://shaunasturge.blogspot.com/
Just doing my part to spread the love. :o)
Thanks Jenster for spreading the love! ;-) And for your kind words. :-)
Jen, Jen (jenster) gave me your addy and I'm sure glad she did. It's hard watching your kids grow up. I have three boys ages 5, almost four and 18 months. Connor starts kindergarten and I'm not liking it! He's my one who told me the other day he didn't want to get married because he'd have to move out of our house and he'd miss me! I'm soaking up this adoration while it lasts! ;-)
Thank you for the encouraging words Jen. Not sure why I am so down in the dumps about having a happy, healthy, rambunctious and funny three year old. I have way too much to feel sorry that is for sure!
Hi Shauna! Thank you for stopping by! I know what you mean about soaking up the adoration....it so stinks that they have to grow up so fast! Am heading over to check out your blog right now!!!
Thanks for your comments on my blog. It's funny how some days I feel like I desperately need a break from my kids, yet I can't stand the thought of Connor going to school every other day. I don't even want to think about grade 1. :-( I love being a SAHM! I have all boys and I can't stand to think of them getting married. In fact, I told Connor that he had to marry someone I liked or not at all. 'Course being the adoring five-year-old he is, he agreed! LOL! I'm holding him to it!
"Technically" I'm from Saskatchewan, but really we're a border town. We straddle the Alberta/Saskatchewan border and I just happen to live on the Sask side. We bought the house that I grew up in from my parents just over 4 years ago, right before the birth of boy #2.
So you live on a mountain? In a small town or actually in the boonies??
I actually live about 50 miles from a real supermarket, drug store or Target. We live about 12 miles from a very small town where there are just the basics: post office, liquir store, bar, gas station and small grocery store ;) I live in the boonies proper - our nearest neighbor is about a mile away!
I know what you mean about needing a break - I am there today!!
So, you need a break?? I'd send you a Kit Kat if I had one! But I'm thinkin' of ya!
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